His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
