idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
