i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize