Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
