I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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