Buhtt sex?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
