You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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