I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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