My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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