With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
