i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
