You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
