a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
