So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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