Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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