did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize