My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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