smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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