what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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