This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
