Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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