Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
