i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
