return my video game
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
