whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
