Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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