ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
