bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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