Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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