it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
