I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
