I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
