he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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