Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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