You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize