Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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