I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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