Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
