I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
