I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
