I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
