the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
