Where did you get a picture of my penis
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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