Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
