In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
