why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Drake has all the answers
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
