The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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