hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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