He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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