They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
