So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
