No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
