I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
