There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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