I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
