it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
