Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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