So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
