ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
