Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
