I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
