As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize