he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
