What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
