I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
