Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize