my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
