sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize