Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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