Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
